The upbringing of Muslim children (1)

BEFORE BIRTH

Choosing the right spouse

Religion is the most important criterion in choosing the right spouse. Abu Hurairah, radiallahu ‘anhu, narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, said: “A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So marry the religious woman if you do not want to be a loser.” [Bukhari and Muslim.] Choosing a spouse who is observing the correct Islamic behaviour in life will establish the Muslim home on sound Islamic principles from the first day and will prevent children from learning bad habits from their parents.

Mental and physical sanity is another criterion. The spouse should not have a grave physical sickness with a high risk of being inherited by the children, or be mentally sick and unable to raise children.

The family status of the spouse is also a criterion in choosing the best spouse. Spouses coming from families that are strongly committed to Islam have a better chance of succeeding in raising good Muslim children.

Observing the rights of the unborn child

A child who is still in the womb has legitimate rights, among which are that:*The father must support the pregnant mother until she delivers even if the two spouses are separated. Allah said: “And if they are pregnant, then spend on them until they deliver.” (Qur’an 65:6)*The pregnant mother may break her Ramadan fast if she is afraid for her well-being or the well-being of her child.
*A child in the womb has the right to inheritance. All scholars agree that the inheritance should not be divided until the child is born and that he should get his share.