FAMILY TIES IN RAMADHAN

Ramadān provides us with many unique opportunities to bring the family together and strengthen the fabric of our family ties. Ramadan fortifies our religious faith in ways that brings people’s hearts together as one.

Reading the Qur’ān

When family members, young and old, male and female, all spend time at home reading the Qur’ān, it provides a special pleasure and brings a renewed commitment to adopt its noble manners in our lives.

Parents should therefore encourage their children to read the Qur’ān in Ramadan, if possible from beginning to end. The whole family should participate in reading the Qur’ān in a spirit of seeking Allāh’s blessings and they should supplicate to Allāh together as a family. This is especially so when any member of the family completes reading the Qur’ān in full.

Ibn al-`Uthaymīn informs us that: “coming together at home when someone completes reading the Qur’ān in full has its basis in the practice of the Companions. It is related that when Anas b. Mālik (raḍiyallāhu anhu) completed reading the Qur’ān, he would gather his family together and offer supplications.”

In this light, an-Nawawī writes in at-Tibyān: “It is very much recommended to attend the gathering of someone who completes reading the Qur’ān.”


Starting and Breaking the Fast

The whole family gathers together at the table before dawn to take their morning meal before the start of the fast. They do so again at Sunset to break the fast. This is a unique and special gathering, since it is founded upon faith and obedience to Allāh. It is the commencement and completion of an act of worship. These two gatherings at the table are times of blessings and prayer as well as times of festive joy. It is a sweet experience for the family to share this occasion together.

It is a time when our prayers are answered. The Prophet (Aallallāhu `alayhi wa-sallam) said: “A fasting person at the time of breaking the fast offers a supplication that will not be refused.” [Sunan Ibn Mājah]

Charity

There is a great opportunity for family togetherness in giving charity. When an adult family member goes out to give charity to poor relatives or strangers, or to charitable centres, they should really involve their children. This gives the children a sense of importance and of real participation.

Similarly, children can get involved in laying out the tables and preparing meals in providing for the poor to break their fasts. These activities teach our youth about the love that human beings should have for each other and it also strengthens their sense of fraternity with their fellow Muslims. It is also a way of developing character and remedy for whatever selfish tendencies the children might have.

Moreover, we should know and remind our children that whatever we spend for the sake of Allāh, we know that Allāh compensates us for it with what is far, far better.

A man once donated a finely haltered camel in charity, saying: “This is for Allāh’s sake.” The Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wa-sallam) said: “On the Day of Judgment, you will have 700 camels, all of them finely haltered.” [Sahīh Muslim]

Learning Patience

Ramadan is a time for bettering ourselves, for learning self-restraint, consideration for others, and for bringing our tempers under control. The first place we put these valuable skills into practice is in our homes.

The month of fasting is a time when we hold back on our desires, which merely starts with our restraining our desire to eat and drink. When we fast, we also strive to treat other people with kindness and generosity, and we exercise self-restraint in our interpersonal dealings, especially our disagreements.

Our Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wa-sallam) teaches us that when someone insults us or tries to instigate an argument with us when we are fasting, we should say to them: “I am a person who is fasting.” [Sahīh al-Bukhārī and Sahīh Muslim] We indicate in this way that we are not going to argue. We are not going to return that person’s bad behavior. This is Ramadan when the devils are restrained, and we want only to compete with others in who can show the most kindness, goodwill, and generosity.

Allāh says: “The good deed and the evil deed are not alike. Repel the evil deed with one that is better, then lo! he between you and whom there had been enmity will become as though he were a bosom friend.” [Sūrah FuSSilat: 35]

Ramadan teaches us patience and forbearance, even when we see from others what displeases us. This is all the more true when those others happen to be our nearest and dearest.

Ramadan is a special time that calls upon us as husbands and wives to see the beauty and goodness in our life partners, to stress their good qualities. The Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wa-sallam) advised husbands: “A believing man should never despise a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her personality traits, he will surely be pleased with another.” [Sahīh Muslim]

Ramadan is a special time that calls us as husbands and wives to express our love for our spouses, and as parents to express our love for our children. We can see this in the reward Allāh gives us for the good that we do for family. The Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wa-sallam) said: “A coin that is spent in Allāh’s path, or for freeing a slave, or for helping the poor, or for providing for your family, the greatest of these in blessings is what is you spend on your family.” [Sahīh Muslim]

When you gather as a family at the Ramadan table, make our love and regard for one another more visible. Every kindness, no matter how small, is blessed. The Prophet (Sallallāhu `alayhi wa-sallam) said: “Whatever you spend, it is charity, even the morsel that you bring to your wife’s lips.” [Sahīh al-Bukhārī]

Ramadan is a chance for family members to renew their commitments to one another, to correct their former errors, forgive each other, and turn over a fresh page. This is easy during Ramadan, the month that brings everyone together in fasting and devotion

source: http//www.muslimlinkpaper.com:

Read rest of entry

Companionship and Friendship in Islam

There are friends who remain true and trustful under all circumstances and there are friends who remain with you only desiring the good. Islam urges to have cordial relations with others and to avoid corruption and the harmful effects of the company of the wicked and the mischievous, strictly forbidding every kind of contact and intimacy with them.

The first kind of friend are very few, and their friendship is like a mirror to you. In deed, we must be fair to our friends, and must want for them that which we want for ourselves. Nabiy Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Waalihi Wa Salam) said,"A true believer is a mirror to his brother. He prevents him from any harm." Friends wish well for their friends, and feel a strong grief when they see them in any kind of distress or suffering. They work hard by all means, by their wealth and their hands to restore the rights of their friends, and give them all the help they need. They keep the secrets of their friends. This kind of friendship is the basic necessity of social life. Nabiy Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Waalihi Wa Salam) said,"A person follows the ways and conducts of his friends."

On the other hand, one encounters fools, avaricious, people cowards, and liars. The fool wants to help others, but cause more harm to them despite good intentions. The avaricious one takes but does not give back to anyone. The coward flees at the smallest danger, abandoning everyone. And the liar does not benefit others, brings animosity and resentment, and causes serious damage to others. Also, the liar is not trusted even if he/she is telling the truth. It is reported,"As for a liar, life with him can never be pleasant for you. He carries tales from you to others and from others to you. If he gives you a true report, a false one follows it. His reputation is slurred. So much so that when he says something true, nobody believes him. Due to the enmity which he entertains in his heart for people, he estranges them from one another and creates malice in their hearts. Be careful and do your duty to Allah." These kinds of individuals might call themselves as your friends, but they do more ill-service to you as well as to the society and in the long run. It is adviced,"Avoid the company of the vicious, because your character would pick up their degenerate and deviant qualities without your knowing it."

The Glorious Qur'an says,"O woe is me! Would that I had not taken
such a one as my friend." 25:28

There are many characterizes of true friends: their heart and face should be alike, they should be honest with their friends and show them both the good and the bad side: wealth and children should not change them; they should help whenever able to do so, and they should not leave their friends during difficulties.

To choose a friend, one must assess his real worth. One must bear in mind that temperaments and personalities are associated with one, relationships with others. Nabiy Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Waalihi Wa Salam) said,"Every Muslim should try to select the best companion for the life span. A companion could be a friend from the same gender. If the companion is to be from the other gender, then that companion should be a spouse to live together within the confines of rules and regulations."

Our beloved Nabiy (Sallallahu Alayhi Waalihi Wasalam) encouraged us to select a good friend with whom to share our feelings. He said,"Don't take a companion unless he is a believer; and don't let your food be eaten except by a godly person." Also, one must take a friend for who he or she is as an individual, and not force them to conform with one's warp and ideas, so long as everything remains within the boundaries of Islam.

Muslims are advised by the Nabiy (Sallallahu Alayhi Waalihi Wasalam) to select a good friend to associate with, and to have him as a social companion in life. By selecting a good companion, to be a friend, a Muslim enriches his/her life. Nabiy (Sallallahu Alayhi Waalihi Wasalam) said,"The similitude of a good companion is like an owner of musk; if you don't get anything, you will get the smell of it. The similitude of a bad companion is like the blacksmith's bellows; if you are not affected by its black dirt, you will be touched by its smoke."

Islam approves associating with individuals who have violated moral and social laws for the purpose of helping them through beneficial guidance. Friends of the right path father and discuss what is beneficial, but not vain. Friends love the souls and smells of their friends. Friends sympathies with their friends and they comfort each other. Friends exert each other toward piety and righteous deeds. Nabiy Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Waalihi Wa Salam) said,"Fear Allah and help each other for the sake of Allah. Have mercy upon each other. Visit each other and remember our matter and keep it alive."

However, one who keeps company for the sake of helping a friend, would have fulfilled the rights of companionship in the worthiest manner. It is reported,"When someone observes a friend taking a wrong and sinful course and, while possessing the capacity to restrain him, does not do so out of indifference, he has actually betrayed his friend."

Today, in this world of ignorance and personal desires, there are few who keep their friendship. Hence, everyone should be careful in choosing friends, and study the character of those with whom they wish to develop terms of friendship.

Read rest of entry

Moderation in JOY and GRIEF

Muslims’ commitment to Allah and His religion entails an unconditional loyalty.

For this reason, fluctuating conditions and circumstances never change believers’ zeal, enthusiasm and determination to live by the Qur’an.

Allah mentions two basic reactions shown by a believer.

First, hardship or severe conditions never daunt him.
Second, he never exults or feels pride because of what he obtains in this world. Allah reveals this in the Qur’an as:

That is so that you will not be grieved about the things that pass you by or exult about the things that come to you. Allah does not love any vain or boastful man. (Surat al-Hadid; 23)

Man is always vulnerable, since he has no idea about what awaits him in life.
A young person may suddenly be seized by a serious disease or become bedridden because of an accident. Anyone may lose all his wealth in a day or encounter events he never anticipated.

In such a situation, those of weak faith will despair or feel rebellious. Forgetting all the blessings of Allah in an instant, they may even lose their love for and trust in Him.

Aware that there is a divine purpose and good in every event that Allah creates, believers merely persevere in the face of unexpected events and trust firmly in Allah's wisdom, compassion and justice.

Meanwhile, believers may sometimes experience loss of material wealth, have to risk their lives or abandon their homes. Yet all such seemingly adverse occasions will bring great reward, joy and glory in the Hereafter.

As well as unexpected losses, people may also experience unexpected gains. Allah opens His infinite dominion to whom He wills and grants success, authority and power.
But He warns Muslims against exulting in pride since any person receiving a great possession, authority or benefit becomes only a trustee, while it is Allah Who is the real possessor of everything.

In the Qur’an Allah reveals this fact.

Mankind! you are the poor in need of Allah whereas Allah is the Rich Beyond Need, the Praiseworthy. (Surah Fatir: 15)

Aware of this fact, believers never forget their own weakness and do not become arrogant even when they enjoy great blessings and wealth. They feel only a deep gratitude to Allah, and they strive to use their blessings for His cause in the best way possible.

Source: http://www.harunyahya.com/

Read rest of entry

'Grumbling' is a repugnant habit of ignorance

But there are some people who trade in distracting tales to misguide people from Allah’s Way knowing nothing about it and to make a mockery of it. Such people will have a humiliating punishment. (Surah Luqman: 6)

Some people voice their ideas about the things they live through all day long by continuously muttering to themselves. Sometimes something that bothers them, sometimes a subject they think is faulty, sometimes a flawed attitude they observe, sometimes a word they hear uttered may cause such people to express their discomfort about these point without thinking much on it.

Actually, it is of course not wrong for a person to voice something he sees at fault. However for such a talk not to be wrong, the aim to do this should definitely be –for the approval of Allah- 'to correct that mistake'. And if there is a faulty behavior, word or incident in question, then this point should definitely be communicated to people who can solve it. And at the same time, the mistake done should be explained to the other party with the nicest and most wise wording.

In this habit of "grumbling", there is no place for any of those mentioned goals. The aim in this is only to "quell one's anger and rage" by saying everything that comes across his mind. And this, clearly manifests how vain and wrong such a manner is.

Sometimes such people continuously grumble not only about the things others do, but also about the things they live through themselves:

They voice all their negative thoughts about almost every subject about their daily life, while working on one side.The common point of all these talks is, never the aim to find a solution for those. The aim is only to voice the discomfort one feels. As a matter of fact, since no precaution is taken for the solution and no attempt is made in this regard, this irritating situation goes on and on. Consequently this person continues to grumble as he is used to do.

However according to the morality of the Qur'an, a person is responsible from everything he sees around him, everything he hears around him and every incident he bears witness to. If there is something wrong going on, it is the responsibility of a Muslim to "correct it or to strive for the correction of it". Consequently, a Muslim's point of view about an irritating situation should be about "coming up with a solution".

Along with that, such people ignore the discomfort that the ones around them, who bear witness to their muttering and grumblings, would feel about this situation. However, to be with someone who complains about almost everything is both spiritually and physically grueling and wearing.

First and foremost, the fact that the state of mind of a person who keeps grumbling is not compliant with the Qur'an and that such a person would actually be living completely by the morality of ignorance, would cause a serious discomfort and oddity for Muslims witnessing these. That is because a grumbling person would give the impression that he had "forgotten that Allah created everything and that there is benefaction and wisdom in every incident, and that everything happens within the scope of destiny and especially for the test of people".
Such behavior creates the suspicion that he is unaware of the fact that one should respond to all incidents which seem to be hardship and trouble, which requires one to show patience and selflessness, with the morality of the Qur'an. It of course raises doubt for that person to leave himself spinelessly to the morality of the ignorance, even though he is responsible of living by the morals which requires him "to control his rage when he faces things that might make him angry; to say the best of the words; to preach people around in the best possible way; to command the good and to forbid the wrong."

A Muslim is the person who uses his conscience. He is responsible of fearing from Allah and of behaving according to the morality of the Qur'an at every moment and of saying every word by thinking if it is compliant with the Qur'an or not.

A Muslim knows that the habit of grumbling is not compatible with the morality of a person who believes in Allah, who knows destiny and that this world is a place for testing and who is aware of the Hereafter. Grumbling is an unbecoming attitude to nobility of a Muslim and it is indecorum to the awareness and conscience of a Muslim.
A Muslim would make good every defect he sees, on his own by his own means, if necessary but nonetheless does not speak in such a complaining manner. No matter how wronged he might appear to be, he never reflects these in a complaining manner. He tries to correct this situation by talking to the related people or by taking the necessary precautions; but never tells about those in the shallow turn of phrase of ignorance. Even if he comes across something irritating, he controls his anger. He never reflects his anger aimlessly just because he feels angry inside. A Muslim knows that that grumbling is not the way of freeing oneself from anger. He is well aware of the fact anger can only be removed by submission to Allah and abiding by the morality of the Qur'an.

Consequently, "grumbling" is one of the most important moral attributes that differentiates the Muslims from the people of society of ignorance. Accordingly, approaching this subject with such point of view and using one's mind, conscience and willpower in the best way, to live by the morality of the Qur'an in the most perfect manner, is a beautiful responsibility faith lays on them.

And say to My servants to speak that which is best. The satan plants animosity between them. The satan was to mankind a clear enemy. (Surat Al-Isra': 53)

Source: http://www.harunyahya.com/

Read rest of entry

I KNOW.....

I know that the place where I now stand; where I live my life, is my path in life, so I am not lost

I know that what happened to me was written as my destiny and no one can change it and I don’t want to, because it has made me who I am

I know that what I fear is from the unknown and belongs to Allah, so I have to trust in Him – not in myself – so I should not fear

I know that the people in my life were sent to me and if some are taken away I have to let them go, trusting in Allah that He will send another

I know Allah loves me for I feel His mercy, forgiveness and compassion all around me – so I have to love myself

I know that barakah is peace and that ease exists within the difficulty so I shouldn’t resist hardship but embrace it looking for the joy and allow myself to feel it

I know that everything changes even myself, so I have to be open to transform and evolve – knowing that everything from Allah is good even if we don’t always see it

I know I am part of all that exists because I feel the affect of life around me and because when I’m sincere and determined the universe moves to make room for me


BY SELMA COOK

SOURCE:http://www.islamicgarden.com

Read rest of entry

I KNOW.....

I know that the place where I now stand; where I live my life, is my path in life, so I am not lost

I know that what happened to me was written as my destiny and no one can change it and I don’t want to, because it has made me who I am

I know that what I fear is from the unknown and belongs to Allah, so I have to trust in Him – not in myself – so I should not fear

I know that the people in my life were sent to me and if some are taken away I have to let them go, trusting in Allah that He will send another

I know Allah loves me for I feel His mercy, forgiveness and compassion all around me – so I have to love myself

I know that barakah is peace and that ease exists within the difficulty so I shouldn’t resist hardship but embrace it looking for the joy and allow myself to feel it

I know that everything changes even myself, so I have to be open to transform and evolve – knowing that everything from Allah is good even if we don’t always see it

I know I am part of all that exists because I feel the affect of life around me and because when I’m sincere and determined the universe moves to make room for me


BY SELMA COOK

SOURCE:http://www.islamicgarden.com

Read rest of entry

HOW TO ACHIEVE TRANQUILITY OF THE HEART

Sometimes it feels like it’s just too much – these fluctuations in our iman, the repeated sinning, the feeling that “I just don’t deserve Allah’s mercy.” The tests always feel like punishments. There is a constant worry about the future: my marriage, my money, my career, my Ummah… And some difficulties just feel like they are too great to overcome. We know we’re not supposed to ask this, but the question at the back of our minds is, “Why me?”

We have all heard that we should never despair of Allah’s Mercy. And on the surface, we try not to, but Shaytaan (the Devil) has a trick. We tend to despair of ourselves and our incapacity to change things, especially the inner turmoil that we feel. And the effect of this is basically the same as despairing of Allah’s mercy. We do not always accept that Allah can take us out of the situation we are in and we don’t need to ‘deserve’ the trouble; Allah isn’t punishing us and we don’t need to be perfect.

This doesn’t mean, however, that we shouldn’t strive, or take ourselves to account when we do mess up. The key is to develop our relationship with Allah during that trouble. If we know Allah, no situation is too hopeless. No sadness is ever permanent. We perceive trials as they are meant to be perceived – as tests of our trust in Allah, forcing us to put our knowledge into practice and bringing us closer to Him. These trials could potentially be a punishment too, that is if we let it affect us negatively by completely turning away from Him because of our sadness. But our awareness of our own state and our understanding of Allah’s Mercy allows us to turn the punishment into something positive that is manifested through repentance to Allah, alongside increasing in hasanat (good deeds) in order to erase the bad deeds.

The first exercise is for us to consciously realize that Allah knows. Whatever grief we go through, whatever hardship we endure, we must understand that we are never alone. Even if we feel abandoned by the world and those closest to us, Allah is there. He reminds us in the Qur’an,

“Fear not. Indeed, I am with you [both]; I hear and I see.” (20:46)

As long as we begin by recognizing that Allah is with us and He is close to us, there remains a solution to our inner worries. There are things we need to know in order to develop our relationship with Allah. Then there are things we need to do in order to maintain that closeness to Allah. And finally, there are things we need to aspire for to achieve the ideal relationship with our Lord. We pray that by the end of the series, we will all have developed a stronger relationship with Allah.

SOURCE:http://www.suhaibwebb.com/

Read rest of entry