Saturday, July 18, 2009

QURAN

A Book that is full of answers,
A Book that makes you cry.
A Book that makes you notice,
How much harder you can try.
A Book that makes you realize,
What true love really is...
A Book that gives you direction,
for all of life’s tough biz.
A Book that gives you hope,
that Someone somewhere’s watching over you.
A Book that helps you out,
Through all the times your blue
A Book that was revealed to our beloved Prophet(SAWS),
over a period of 23 years
Once you put faith into this Book,
You can handle worldly fears.
A gift sent down from Heaven,
A treasure from above,
Written proof that shows us
How blessed we are with Allah(SWT’s) love!
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Friday, July 17, 2009

TIPS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE



TIPS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE

1. Faith:

The most basic and essential attribute of a Muslim marriage is the common faith that binds the couple. Since Islam is a way of life and not just a religion confined to weekly worship it becomes an integral part of a Muslim's life. The frame of reference shared by the couple eases communication and sharing of values which is not possible in an interfaith marriage. It is highly recommended that faith play an important role in the developing a loving relationship.

2. Forgiving:

When the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) asked his Companions ‘do you wish that Allah should forgive you' they said, of course O Prophet of Allah. He responded, ‘then forgive each other'.
One of the main components of a happy marriage is that the spouses are able to forgive, that they do not hold grudges or act judgmental towards each other. It is expected that when we live with someone, situations may arise when we end up saying or doing things that hurt our spouses. The challenge is not to dwell on it or lay blame but to move past it. This can only happen if we are not too proud to ask for forgiveness and we are not stingy to forgive. If we expect Allah to forgive us then we must learn to forgive.


3. Forbearance:

Sabar (patience) is the most useful tool to have in managing a healthy lifestyle. Being patient and forbearing puts us in a pro-active frame of mind it brings us closer to Allah through Tawakul (trust) and reliance .We develop an inner mechanism that empowers us to handle life's difficult moments. As Allah states in Surah (chapter)al-Asr:
"Surely by time humans are at loss, except those who believe and do righteous deeds and counsel each other to the truth and counsel each other to Sabr (patience)' (Quran, chapter 103).


4. Flexible:


Many couples un-necessarily make themselves miserable because they are unwilling to bend a little. We should not expect our spouses to be our extensions. They are their ownselves with personalities, likes and dislikes. We must respect their right to be them selves as long as it does not compromise their Deen (religion). Being inflexible and not accommodating for individual differences leads to a very stressful and tense home atmosphere.

5. Friendship:

This aspect of marriage has three components. First is to develop a friendship with our spouses. The relationship based on friendship is more able to withstand outside pressures.
We honor, trust, respect, accept and care for our friends, in spite of our differences. These are the aspects of friendship we should bring to our marriages.


6. Friendly:

Second aspect of friendship is to have friendly relations with in-laws. When couples compete as to whose parents are more important it becomes a constant source of grief. Much valuable time is wasted trying to convince, one another of whose parents are most desirable. It is better if we accept, that our spouses will not overnight fall in love with our parents just because we want them to. As long as they maintain friendly relations that are cordial and based on mutual respect we should not force the issue.

7. Friends:

The third aspect of friendship is our circle of friends. It is okay to have individual friends of the same gender but couples must also make effort to have family friends so that they can socialize together. If there is friction being caused by a certain friendship it must not be pursued at the expense of the marriage. Prophet Muhammad (SAW) advised us to choose God fearing people as friends since we tend to follow their way. Friends should be a source of joy and not mischief.

8. Fun:

Couples that do not laugh together have to work on sharing some fun times. The Prophet (SAW) was known to play with his wives. A simple walk in the park can add much spark to the relationship. Taking up a sport together or watching clean funny movies is another way of sharing a laugh.

9. Faithful:

It is commanded by Allah that we be faithful to our spouses. Adultery is a capital crime in Islam that is punishable by death. However there are various forms of unfaithful behavior prevalent among some Muslims.
The most common form is maintaining friendships with the opposite sex over the boundaries set by Islam, and the misgivings of the spouse. Another form of not being faithful is when couples betray confidences (trusts/promises). This is a trust issue and one when compromised eats away at the heart of a marriage.


10. Fair:


Usually when we are angry or displeased the tendency is to not play fair. We try to convince ourselves that since we have been wronged it is okay to be unjust in our behavior and our statements. Allah states in the Koran do not be unjust under any circumstances, even if they be your enemy, and here we are talking about our life partners and the parent of our children. To use words such as "never" and "always" when describing the behavior of the partner is unfair and puts the other on the defensive.

11. Finance:

One of the most common points of contention in marriages is money. Experts tell us that 80 percent of marital conflicts are about money. It is therefore highly recommended that the couple put serious time and effort in developing a financial management plan that is mutually agreeable and is reviewed every six months or so. Preparing a budget together is also a helpful and wise way to handling household finances. It should be remembered that the wife's money in Islam is hers to do with as she pleases and therefore should not be considered family income unless she chooses to contribute it to the family

12. Family:

Parenting can be a stressful experience if the parents are not well informed. This in turn can put extra pressure on the marriage. Sometimes couples are naive about the changes that come in the lifestyle. This can cause in some cases depression and in some resentment and misunderstandings. One golden rule that must always be the guide is; that family comes first.
Whenever there is evidence that the family is not happy or not our first priority it is time to assemble at the kitchen table and discuss with open hearts and mind.


13. Feelings:


Prophet Muhammad (SAW) stated that Allah forgives all sins if we repent but not those we have committed against others i.e. hurt their feelings unless the person we have hurt forgives first.
Couples are sometimes very careless when it comes to their spouse's feelings, they take them for granted and assume that the other knows what they mean. It is surprising that people are more sensitive and courteous to strangers than they are to their loved ones. One must be ever vigilant and careful that they do not hurt the feelings of one's spouses and if they invariably do, they should apologize as soon as possible. Since one does not know when someone they love will leave this world, is it not better to make amends when we have the time?


14. Flirtation:

A sure way to keep romance in marriage is to flirt (only) with your spouse. Many successful marriages have maintained a youthful demeanor in their marriages by adopting special names for each other and secret communication styles.

15. Frank:

Misunderstandings happen when couples are not honest with each other. Marital relationship is where the partners must feel safe to speak their mind with due consideration to the other's feeling, without compromising their own views. When the communication is not frank it hinders in the development of closeness and deep understanding of each other's inner self.

16. Facilitator:

When choosing our life partner, we must, as the Prophet (SAW) advised, look for a pious Muslim. The reason is that their first and foremost goal is the pleasure of Allah. This commitment to Allah makes them an excellent facilitator (someone who makes things easy) for enhancing their partner's spiritual development. In essence, the couple facilitates their family's commitment to Allah and His Deen.

17. Flattering:

Paying compliments and indulging in honest flattery is a very inexpensive way to win your spouse's heart. Everyone likes to be appreciated and noticed. So being stingy about compliments is actually depriving oneself of being appreciated in return.

18. Fulfilling:

To be all one can be to one's spouse is a very fulfilling and rewarding experience. To be in love means to give one's all. The heart does not put conditions or make stipulations. It gives without expecting anything in return, but such selfless giving is always rewarded tenfold.

19. Fallible:

It often happens that our expectations sometimes are so high that we lose focus of the fact that we are fallible (not perfect/make mistakes) beings. When couples start to nitpick and demand the impossible they must remind themselves that only Allah is perfect.

20. Fondness:

So many times couples fail to work on developing fondness for each other by [failing] to see their spouses as people through the eyes of their respective friends. Spending quality time alone doing and sharing activities are ways in which one can develop fondness.

21. Future:

Smart couples plan for their future together. They work on their financial and retirement plans, make wills and discuss these plans with their children. This provides peace of mind and secures the relationship.
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Thursday, July 16, 2009


Sadaqa

Sadaqa is a voluntary charity which may be made at any time. It can be of any amount "beyond your needs." It need not be money.
Giving a smile to someone who needs it is also sadaqa.
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ISLAMIC QUOTES

SINS AND SIGNS OF HYPOCRISY

There are three signs of a hypocrite: when he speaks he speaks lies, when he makes a promise he breaks it, and when he is trusted he betrays his trust.
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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

ISLAM AND HONESTY

Islam orders the Muslim to be honest to himself and others..A Muslim is ordered by Allah, to be honest in his words and deeds, privately and publicly alike.

Implication of Honesty:

Honesty in words implies telling the truth in all cases and under all conditions. Honesty also implies fulfilling the promise, whether written or given orally, in text and spirit. Honesty also implies giving the right advice to the one who asks for it. Honesty also implies doing one's work as sincerely and as perfectly as possible. Honesty also implies carrying out duties as fully as possible whether the person is supervised or not

Honesty means giving every person his due rights without his asking for these rights. Honesty means doing the right thing in the right way at the right time. Honesty means objectivity in judgment, objectivity in evaluation, and objectivity in decisions of all types. Honesty implies the right selection of personnel and the right promotion of personnel, i.e., selection by merit and promotion by merit, not by temper or personal relations.

Honesty is a blanket term that covers a wide range of traits. It covers telling the truth, sincerity in work, carrying out duties, fulfilling one's word, objective judgments, and objective decisions. Honesty is the opposite of lying, the opposite of bluffing, the opposite of hypocrisy, the opposite of favoritism, and the opposite of deceit.

External and Internal Honesty:

I would like here to classify honesty into external honesty and internal honesty. By external honestly, I mean honesty which is judged by other people. By internal honesty, I mean honesty which is judged by the person himself alone.

External Honesty:

The reward of external honesty comes from God, people, and from the psychological satisfaction the honest person feels. When you are honest, you are liked by God and people whom you deal with. Your honesty gives you the social approval you need and here comes the social value of honesty. Further, when everybody is honest, a great deal of human problems disappear including lying, bluffing, stealing, forgery, and many other social diseases. In other words, honestly is something you give and something you take: others enjoy your honesty and you enjoy their honesty.
In the absence of honesty, many social diseases appear. If a person is dishonest, he is ready to tell lies, to bribe, to be bribed, to distort the truth, to cheat, to forge, to deceive others, and to break his promises. A dishonest person is a totality of diseases. He is ready to misbehave at any time. Each time he misbehaves, he causes a great disturbance or harm to one person or to group of persons or to the whole nation, in some cases.

Internal Honesty:

Thus honesty is a factor in the psychological health of the honest person himself and the health of other persons whom he deals with. However, Islam emphasizes internal honesty, i.e., honesty which is judged by the person himself and cannot be seen by other people.

It often happens that a person acts privately. Sometimes we act with nobody seeing us. A believer in Allah feels that although no person is watching him, Allah is watching. This continuous watch of Allah develops the concept of internal honesty or conscience in the believer. This means that internal honesty becomes an overall strategy of the believer.

The Muslim is to be honest, internally and externally, privately and publicly, whether observed by other people or not, whether he acts or speaks. This overall honesty makes the Muslim confident of himself, of his behavior, and of his words and deeds. Honesty makes the person feel that he trusts others and is trusted by others.

This mutual confidence makes the believer feel self-satisfied and socially secure. Honestly implies unity of behavior, unity of standards, and integrity of personality. Honestly implies being away from internal conflicts, away from social conflicts, and away from self contradiction.

Building Honesty:

The important question, however, is this: how does Islam build honesty in the Muslim? Islam builds ethical qualities in general and honesty in particular in several ways:

1- Instructions. Allah orders the Muslim to be honest in all cases, in all deeds and words, to Himself an others

2- Reason. Allah shows the Muslim rationally that honesty is the best policy, even on utilitarian bases.

3- Reward. Allah promises the honest person generous rewards in the first life and in the second life.

4- Punishment. Allah threatens the dishonest person with severe punishment for his dishonest behavior.

5- Practice. Allah develops the habit of honesty in the Muslim through actual practice, i.e., through fasting and prayer.

Thus Islam builds the habit of honesty in the Muslim through direct instructions, through rational arguments, through the reward and punishment principles, and through practice.

The Practice of Honesty

Taking fasting as an example, when a Muslim fasts, he should abstain from any kind of food or drink from dawn until sunset. This means that a fasting Muslim should not eat or drink for about fifteen continuous hours, including not engaging in sexual intercourse with his wife or her husband.

The important thing here is that a fasting Muslim does not allow a drop of water to go into his mouth from dawn until sunset in spite of his thirst, because he has learned to be honest, i.e., internally honest. The only observer of a fasting person is Allah and the person himself. Here is an actual and real practice of honesty exercised during the whole month of Ramadan, the month of fasting in Islam. So in Ramadan, a Muslim is practically trained to be honest. Of course, one of the components of honesty is refusing to submit to temptations and impulses. In Ramadan, the Muslim is thirsty, but he does not drink; he is hungry, but he does not eat. In Ramadan, the fasting month in Islam, water is but is spatially near but psychologically far from the Muslim; water is near to the Muslim but far from his desire. This is a practical exercise of self-control and internal honesty.
Therefore, Islam instructs the Muslim to be honest and trains him to be so. The outcome is healthy self and a healthy social atmosphere that leads to the happiness of both the individual and the group.

- Muhammmad Ali alkhuli

http://www.geocities.com/to_islam/honesty.htm
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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

ISLAM PROHIBITS BACKBITING AND SLANDERING

Major sins are indeed the cause for all misery, evil and torment in this world and the hereafter.

And the worst of all sins are those that are greatest in harm and danger to humanity. Among the destructive major sins are backbiting and slandering. These two sins are forbidden by Allah because they sow enmity, evils and discord among people and lead to destruction. They cause hostilities between people of the same household and between neighbors and relatives. They can decrease in good deeds and increase in evil ones and lead to dishonor and ignominy.

Backbiting and slandering are shame and disgrace. Their perpetrator is detested and he shall not have a noble death. Allah forbids these acts, as He says in the Qur'an:

"Backbiting and Gossiping are from the most vilest and despicable of things, yet the most widely spread amongst mankind, such that no one is free from it except for a few people."

Backbiting means mentioning something about a person (in his absence), that he hates (to have mentioned), whether it is about: His body, his religious characteristics, his worldly affairs, his self, his physical appearance, his character, his wealth, his child, his father, his wife, his manner of walking, his smile, it is the same whether you mention that about him with words, through writings, or whether you point or indicate him by gesturing with your eyes, hand or head.

As for the body, is when you make fun of how someone looks, or mentioning any bad quality in him, as saying: "he is blind", "he limps", "he is bleary-eyed", "he is bald", "he is short", "he is tall", "he is black", "he is yellow", "he's too thin", "he's too fat". As for his religious qualities, it is when you say: "he is a sinner", "he is a thief", "he is a betrayer", "he is an oppressor", "he doesn't pray", "he prays so fast", "he does not behave well towards his parents", "he does not pay the zakat duly"." As for the worldly matters, then it is when you say: "he has poor manners", "he does not think that anyone has a right over him", "he talks too much" …etc

Allah says in the Qur'an:

"O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah, verily, Allah is The One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful" (Qur'an 49: 12)

In this verse, Allah strongly forbids backbiting, and he compares the backbiter to one who eats the flesh of his dead brother. If he would hate eating the flesh of his brother, he should also hate to eat his flesh while he is alive by backbiting and slandering him.

When one reflects deeply over this assimilation it will be enough to keep one away from backbiting.

Backbiting is so widespread among people that it has become an issue of people’s meetings and an avenue for expressing their anger, misgivings and jealousy. Those who indulge in backbiting are hiding their own imperfections and harming others. They are oblivious of the fact that they are only harming themselves.

This is because the backbiter if the wrongdoer and his victim is the wronged, on the Day of Resurrection both the wrongdoer and the wronged will stand before Allah Who is the Just Judge and the wronged will appeal to Allah to avenge the wrong done to him, Allah will then give this wronged person from the good deeds of the person who wronged him in accordance with his wrong by backbiting his brother on a Day that no father will give his son any of his good deeds nor a friend to his friend. All will be saying, ‘Myself, myself.’

Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) also said:
"Who protects his tongue from unlawful utterances and his private parts from illegal sexual intercourse; I shall guarantee him entrance into Paradise."


So, Muslims, you should beware of slipping of your tongues and do not give it free hand to wreak havoc on you. For a too free tongue destroys its owner and causes him calamities and evils.

http://www.islamonline.com/
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