The Miracle of honey

More than 1,400 years ago Allah and His messenger (PBUH), told us that honey can heal a variety of medical problems.
The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Make use of the two remedies: honey and the Quran." (Tirmithi)

Modern medicine is only just learning of this fact. People knew honey from ancient times and long before they began to process refined sugar. Honey's natural properties also make it an excellent replenisher and a solvent; it opens the pores of blood vessels and eases menstrual discharge, forces out phlegm, and opens obstruction of the liver, kidney, and bladder.

Honey is abluent and an aperient. It contains detergent and tonic properties that cleanse the arteries and bowels of impurities. It opens obstructions of the liver, kidney, and bladder. It is also a general preservative, and it helps to preserve the potency of salves among other natural medicinal remedies. Honey is also a curative for a depraved appetite, and when taken as a drink mixed with hot water and a pomace made from sweet roses, it helps the treatment of rabies, and is considered a safeguard from further infections. Honey is also used as detoxicant for drug users, and as an antitoxin to treat accidental eating of poisonous plants of the nightshade family (Hyoscymus niger), or wild fungus, among others. As a preservative, honey can be used to preserve meat for up to three months, and is used in pickling cucumbers, squash, eggplant, and various kinds of fruits for up to six months. Known as "LIM trustworthy preservative".

Traditional uses of honey have included honey mixed with lemon for sore throats. Honey coats the throat and reduces throat irritation. Research has already shown that honey blocks the growth of oral bacteria. Honey has also been used for stomach pains and problems. Modern research shows that honey is effective when used in the treatment of gastric or peptic stomach ulcers. Research has also revealed that honey is effective in the treatment of various wounds and infections because of its anti-microbial (antibacterial, antiviral, and anti-fungal) properties.

Researchers are not absolutely sure why honey heals but they are learning new things about honey everyday. We do know that honey contains a variety of sugars and minerals. Honey is also considered an antioxidant. This means it allows the blood to circulate better and provide more oxygen to areas of the body such as the brain. Honey can also be used externally to promote healing when applied to wounds, even postoperative wounds. Honey has also been effective in its use to treat burns. It has even been shown to be low in calories and useful as a sweetener for diabetics, people with heart-disease, or those overweight.

Although there is healing in honey for a variety of medical disorders, certain precautions should be taken. Children under the age of one year never should be given honey due to the possibility of infant botulism.
As Muslims, we must acknowledge and accept that Allah and His Prophet, (PBUH), know better and have revealed the truth. We should, therefore, study the research that is available, not to confirm or deny the truth that has been revealed by Allah (SWT) and his Prophet (PBUH), but to learn of new ways we can use honey.

Allah says in the Quran, "And Your lord inspired the bee, to build your dwellings in hills, on trees, and in (human's) habitations. Then, to eat of all the produce and follow the ways of your Lord made easy. There comes forth from their bodies a drink of varying color, wherein is healing for men: Verily, in this is a sign for those who give thought." [Qur'an 16:68-69]

The imperative "build" above is the translation of the Arabic word "attakhithi", which is the feminine form (Arabic grammar unlike English, differentiates between the sexes). The feminine form is used when all of those it refers to are female, whereas the masculine is used when a group consists of at least 1 male.
Therefore the Quran is in fact saying "build, you female bees." A swarm of bees, which collect honey and build the hive, are female only.

Thus, the phrasing of this command is in agreement with the scientific fact that male bees do not partake in the construction of the hive. Microscopes were not invented until 1610, when Galileo invented one of the first microscopes almost a thousand years after Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).

The Prophet (PBUH) has also told us of the healing found within honey for a variety of medical problems, including stomach ailments. One hadeeth, reported by Bukhari, states that a man came to the Prophet (PBUH) because his brother had a stomach disorder. The Prophet said "Let him drink honey." The man returned a second time and again the Prophet (PBUH), responded again, "Let him drink honey." The man returned again, and said "I have done that". The Prophet then responded, "Allah has said the truth, but your brother's stomach has told a lie. Let him drink honey." He drank it and was cured.

Honey indeed has great nutritional value and is the drink of drinks, a sweetener of sweeteners, an ointment of ointments, and there is no other food among what Allah has created for us that equals honey value, and nothing is close to its constitution.

Read rest of entry

The Truth about Failure:

Failure doesn't mean you are a failure, it does mean you haven't succeeded yet.

Failure doesn't mean you have accomplished nothing, it does mean you have learned something.

Failure doesn't mean you have been a fool, it does mean you had a lot of faith.

Failure doesn't mean you have been disgraced, it does mean you were willing to try.

Failure doesn't mean you don't have it, it does mean you have to do something in a different way.

Failure doesn't mean you are inferior, it does mean you are not perfect.

Failure doesn't mean you've wasted your life, it does mean you've got a reason to start afresh.

Failure doesn't mean you should give up, it does mean you should try harder.

Failure doesn't mean you'll never make it, it does mean it will take a little longer.

Failure doesn't mean God has abandoned you, it does mean God has a better idea!

Read rest of entry

Be "A Good Listener" +" How to Respond":

If your friend comes to you asking for advice, chances are he doesn't really want to be told what to do; he really wants you to listen to him. If you have prepared yourself to be a person who can be trusted by learning to be a counselor, people will love to come to you to get things off their chest and just unload.

Counselors are primarily listeners. Don't underestimate the great positive affect of listening to someone who is having problems. Listening and responding appropriately help the troubled person to identify his dilemmas, explore the options, and come away feeling refreshed and that something useful has happened.

You, the listener, have the responsibility to remember the smallest details of the conversation. You have to convince your friend that you are really listening; this means you won't have to ask your friend more than one time the names of his relatives or any other important fundamental information.

While counseling your friend, all your attention should be focused on him and on what he is telling you. To let him know that he has your full attention, you should give what is called "minimal responses."

These minimal responses are what we naturally do when we are listening more than talking. Counseling is the art of listening constructively, so learning this art of minimal responses is essential.

Such responses can be non-verbal, like a nod of the head, or expressions such as "Aha," "Uh hum," "Yes," "OK," and "Right". Your friend will be doing most of the talking so from time to time you must reaffirm that you are listening to what he is saying.

You must be wise when you use these minimal responses; for example, if you give them too frequently, they will be distracting. If they're too infrequent, your friend may think you are not listening. At the same time, you must empathize (share the same feelings) with your friend. Your speed of talking and tone should match that of your friend. For example, if he is telling a sad story, a bright cheery "right" from you would be inappropriate.

Minimal responses can also be a subtle way of communicating other messages. These messages may be used to show that you agree with your friend, emphasize the importance of a statement, or to express surprise, disappointment, and so on. A message is carried to your friend through the combination of your tone of voice, accompanying non-verbal behavior, facial expressions, and body posture.

Phrases can also be used, for example, "I hear what you say," and "I understand." You can also match your friend's non-verbal behavior. If he is sitting on the edge of his seat, you could sit in the same way and mirror your friend's posture.

This makes your friend feel you are close to him because you do not sit back like you are in a superior position, listening to and judging what is being said. If you match your friend's posture, your friend will feel more at ease.

If you mirror your friend's posture and non-verbal behavior, it is most likely that your friend will match your behavior. In this way, you can bring about a change in your friend's emotional state. For instance, if your friend is anxious and breathing heavily and you match this to some extent, then ease off, chances are your friend will relax too. Slow down your rate of breathing, speaking speed, and sit back comfortably in your chair. This change should be done slowly and naturally and never interrupt your friend's train of thought.

Keeping steady and natural eye contact is also important, also don't stare too much but it's fine to look away from time to time. It is most beneficial to be friendly and real than to appear competent. Do not feel uncomfortable with silence — allow your friend to think in silence, without pressure. Even when silent, however, show your friend that you are paying full attention to him. Counseling is a natural process.

By Latiefa Achmat
Latiefa Achmat is an Islamic counselor and social worker in Cape Town, South Africa.

Source:IslamOnline.net

Read rest of entry

Al-Muhasabah:On being honest with oneself

To take account of oneself, that is, to undergo honest selfcriticism, is part of the Muslim practice al-muhasabah, or self-inventory. According to the Companion Umar ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, to engage in al-muhasabah is to "assess and adjudge yourselves before you are assessed and adjudged on the Day of Judgment, and to weigh out your deeds, before they are weighed out for you." Umar, a man of his word, reportedly used to whip his right foot at night and say to it "What have you done today?"

Another Companion, Maymun ibn Mahran, said: "A pious person cautiously examines and adjudges himself more than he would a tyrant ruler or a tight-fisted partner!"
The notable first Islamic century sage, Al-Hasan Al-Basri, offers a more detailed explanation of al-muhasabah. "A believer polices himself [or one might say, his own soul]. He assesses and adjudges [himself] for the sake of Allah.The Final Judgment [of God] may end up mild for some simply because they were quick to adjudge themselves in this life. Or the Final Judgment on the Day of Resurrection may end up a tough ordeal for some who were unconcerned about what they did in this life, thinking they would not be called to account."

What we see from these sterling predecessors of ours is that honest self-criticism is an important way to purify our souls and to light the path of blissful success. Allah states in His Book: "Truly he has succeeded who purifies it.And truly, he has failed who defiles it" [91:9-10].

Self-criticism seems like a fairly straightforward concept.The activity that makes it possible, however-namely, honesty with oneself-is exceedingly hard to come by, for it requires admission of our wrongdoings whenever such actions escape us. It means acknowledgement within ourselves that we have committed a sin, whether against our own souls or others, be it our Creator or anyone or anything in creation. For most of us, such a confession is an incredibly tough thing to do.

Pride prevents some of us from owning our faults, especially before people when that is necessary.The souls of others grow facile at justifying any indecent behavior or false belief. Another problem, particularly for those of us still surging with youth, is the misconception that honest self-criticism prevents us from that ultimate youthful quest, "having fun."

It behooves us to recall that being honest with ourselves is actually a way to enjoy life, rather than make it tougher. It is a fact (scary for many) that the very best way to prevent ourselves from committing haram acts is to really investigate whether or not such activities are permissible in Islam. For one, many of the things people classify as socially forbidden are actually very much halal, which we deny ourselves to escape the judgment of people, not Allah.

More deeply, haram acts, knowingly committed or not, for a fact necessarily result in making life truly less pleasurable, if not immediately for us then for many others, for their nature is to damage the human spirit, the condition of individuals and societies, and the balance of the world.The Qur'an states this beautifully about those who reject its revealed truth on pretext: "Who is further astray than one who is in uttermost schism [with its truth]?" [41:52].

It is a superficial reading to look at this as merely rejecting Islam. Rather, it is about denying within ourselves what our souls know to be truth-like denying we've done wrong even though we know we did.The Qur'an says such people live a life of misery, full of contradiction, which is a great source of mental pain.

So carefully questioning our actions-past and present- makes life easier because it makes the path to God, the path to peace, much smoother. It is redundant to say all human beings err, but not admitting our specific mistakes, now that is playing with fire. An honest approach to our behavior is to willingly acknowledge the shortcomings in our actions and, at least to ourselves, the flaws in our character.This is the first step to disburdening ourselves of guilt, which has its function, but which left to fester can quickly and lethally metastasize.

The Qur'an tells us clearly and often that our books of deeds are like meticulously preserved records, precise chronicles of all that we ever said and did, righteous or not.With the exception of a rare few, everyone will stand witness in the Divine Judgment of their own earthly deeds. Hence, in this life, it makes profound sense to take note of our own deeds, with most of our focus on the actions we need to improve or eliminate, seeking forgiveness for all our substandard performance. Remembering what may be less than perfect about us is a prime way to prepare for the Day of Judgment. Indeed, confessing our faults, to ourselves and God, and then doing our best to eliminate them from our behavior is an act of high eman, one we shall see again on the positive side of our records.

Sins are a legitimate source of worry, no doubt.To reflect on them is actually necessary, for coming to terms with our sins, that is, acknowledging them-that we are at fault for our offenses against God or His creation is to affirm our proper belief and faith.

The pathway to this proper faith is to assess our own actions with total honesty, which requires of us genuine (and frequent) meditations in self-criticism. That is muhasabah. I have found that verbalizing these unpleasant realities about my deeds and myself is invaluable in my muhasabah sessions. Statements like: "I have a tendency to berate others when I don't get my way," or, "I have been yelling at my parents for far too long now."

The next step entails planning to counteract these unfavorable tendencies until they are altogether eliminated. Take heed! Without self-honesty, there is no muhasabah. I like the way a famous French proverb puts it: "A fault denied is twice committed."

Copied from: al-Jumaah.com

Read rest of entry

Be good to your neighbours

Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: The best friend in the sight of Allah is he who is the well-wisher of his companions, and the best neighbour is one who behaves best towards his neighbours. Al-Tirmidhi, Number 120

Narrated AbuDharr: Allah’s Apostle (peace be upon him) said: AbuDharr, when you prepare the broth, add water to that and give that (as a present) to your neighbour. -- Sahih Muslim, 1208

Narrated by Ibn ‘Abbas told Ibn az-Zubayr, “I heard the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, ‘A man is not a believer who fills his stomach while his neighbour is hungry.’” Al-Adab al-Mufrad Al-Bukhar, IV 61, 112

Certain specific rights of the neighbours

Mu’awiya lbn Haidah relates that the Prophet of Allah (S.A.W.) said “The rights of the neighbour upon you are that;
• If he falls ill you visit (and take care of) him;
• if he dies you attend his funeral (and take part in the burial arrangements);
• if he commits an evil deed, you prevent it from being known (i.e. do not give publicity to it);
• if he is favoured by good-fortune, you congratulate him;
• if a calamity befalls him, you grieve in sympathy with him;
• you restrain from erecting your building higher than his in such away that the passage of fresh air is blocked from his house (unless you obtained his consent) and further,
• (you take care that) the aroma of your cooking pot does not cause sorrow to him (and his children) except that you send some of it (the food) to him.”
Tafseer Roohul Bayaan part 5 p530

Always remember when doing a good deed, have the correct intention/niyyah, do it for Allah’s pleasure with sincerity. May all our good deeds be accepted. InshaAllah.

Read rest of entry

SEEK,ACQUIRE and DISSEMANTE ISLAMIC KNOWLEDGE

Allah (SWT) says in the Holy Qur’an in Surah Al Baqarah, “He grants wisdom (Hikmah) to whom He pleased; and to whom wisdom (Hikmah) is granted receive indeed a benefit overflowing; but none will grasp the Message but men of understanding” (2:269). This ayah, as well as others in the Holy Qur’an, illustrates to us the importance of knowing and understanding our beautiful religion. Without knowledge of our Deen we run the risk of falling into misguidance and innovation, and that misguidance could ultimately lead us to the Hellfire.

Allah’s Messenger (SAW) used to say in every Friday khutba, “The best discourse is the Book of Allah and the best guidance is the guidance of Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah, and the worst matter is that of innovation and every innovation is misleading.” Thus it is imperative we know that what we are practising and passing along to our children comes from the Qur’an and the Sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad (SAW). Allah has made it obligatory upon every believing individual, male and female alike, to have a basic understanding of our religion. Without posessing knowledge of our faith we ultimately harm ourselves and those whom we try to teach about Islam. We live in a time in which there is so much wrong information circulating about Islam and Muslims and within the Muslim world itself. It is therefore our responsibility as believers to make sure we are on right guidance for ourselves and for those who may want to know about our perfect Deen.

We must first and foremost set out on the pursuit of religious knowledge for the sake of Allah (SWT) alone, because the sin of an insincere seeker of knowledge is great. Call to mind the first three people to be thrown into the Hellfire. Narrated Abu Hurairah (RA): “…Then there will be brought forward a man who acquired knowledge and imparted it (to others) and recited the Qur’an. He will be brought, Allah will make him recount his blessings and he will recount them (and admit having enjoyed them in his lifetime). Then Allah will ask: What did you do (to requite these blessings)? He will say” I acquired knoweldge and disseminated it and recited the Qur’an, seeking Thy pleasure. Allah will say: You have told a lie. You acquired knowldege so that you might be called “a scholar”, and you recited the Qur’an so that it might be said: “He is a Qari” and such has been said. Then orders will be passed against him and he shall be dragged with his face downward and cast into the Fire…” (Sahih Musilim: Book 19, #4688).

A sincere seeker of knowledge, however, receives great belssings from Allah (SAW). Narrated Abu Hurairah (RA): Allah’s Apostle (SAW) said, “He who treads the path in search of knowledge, Allah will make that path easy, leading to Paradise for him and those persons who assemble in one of the houses (mosques) of Allah, recite the Book of Allah and learn and teach the Qur’an (among themselves). There will descend upon them tranquility, mercy will cover them, the angels will surround them and Allah will mention them in the presence of those near Him. (Sahih Muslim: Book 34, #6518).
Acquiring sound knowledge of Islam takes a lifetime of study, but the benefits gained from the sincere pursuit of that knowledge are immense. In a Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) it is said that if Allah (SWT) wants to do good to a person, He makes him comprehend the religion, the understanding of the Qur’an and the Sunnah. In another Hadith of the Prophet (SAW) we learn the superiority of a person who learns Islam and then teaches it to others.

Seeking Islamic knowledge is of great importance. We must do so sincerely, however, and with a pure heart. If we seek to gain religious knowledge sincerely, and only for the sake of Allah (SWT), He will reward us with a great and generous reward. We must always remember that we not only have a responsibility to our selves to learn our Deen, but we are responsible for teaching our children Islam, and for bringing Islam to non Muslims. That is why it is so important we teach only sound, reliable information from the Qur’an and Sunnah. If we cannot bring forth reliable evidence to enforce a piece of knowledge, then we must be silent. We have to then seek answers from a person who has already acquired such knowledge, and make sure that person is fully capable of imparting religious knowledge to others.

One of the signs of the Last Day is that religious knowledge will be taken away, and we will be taught by those who have no knowledge. Narrated Abdullah bin Amr bin Al-Aas (RA): I heard Allah’s Messenger (SAW) saying, “Allah does not take away the knowledge, by taking it away from (the hearts of) the people, but takes it away by the death of the religious learned men till when none of the (religious learned men) remains, people will take as their leaders ignorant persons who when consulted will give their verdict without knowledge. So they will go astray and will lead the people astray” (Summarized Sahih Al-Bukhari: Book 3, Chapter 24, #86).

I know that none of us wants to stray from the Straight Path, or lead anyone else from the Straight Path either. So we must try our best to acquire knowledge that is of benefit to ourselves, our children, and others. We must strive to be from the knowledgeable. Narrated Ibn Masud: I heard the Prophet (SAW) saying, “There is no envy except in two: A person whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it in the right way, and a person whom Allah has given wisdom (i.e. religious knowledge) and he gives his decisions accordingly and teaches it to others” (Sahih Al-BukhariL Volume 2, Book 24, #490).

Remember, once we have learned something we must pass it on to others. Narrated Abu Hurairah (RA): Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said: “When a man dies, his acts come to an end, but three, recurring charity, or knowledge (by which people) benefit, or a pious son, who prays for him (the deceased)” (Sahih Muslim: Book 12, #4005).
Say…”O my Lord advance me in knowledge: (Qur’an, 20:114). I pray Allah (SWT) makes it easy on all of us, and guides us all ever closer to the Straight Path. Amin.

Read rest of entry

THE DIFFERENT TYPES OF LOVE

Firstly: loving for the sake of Allah and loving what Allah and His Messenger love. This is how a Muslim should be. Ibn Al-Qayyim said about this type of love:

"There are four types of love where one must differentiate between …They are:

A: Loving Allah only.

B: Loving what Allah loves. This leads one to enter Islam and depart infidelity. The most beloved ones by Allah are those who posses much of this type of love.

C: Loving for the sake of Allah. This is a requirement of loving what Allah loves.

D: Loving with Allah. This is the Shirk of Love. Everyone who loves something with the love of Allah, not for the sake of Allah, then he has associated a partner with Him.

Secondly: loving lawful things, such as food, clothes or drinks. This love is normal.

Thirdly: sympathetic loving, such as loving your children or wife. This love is normal.

Fourthly: loving others equal or more than the love of Allaah. This is major Shirk."

Source: Islamweb.net

Read rest of entry

THE MEANING OF "LOVE"

IT is so common that the meaning of love has been restricted in the modern age to the love relationship between a man and a woman. This is a very narrow-minded view of love. Islam has is own comprehensive view of love.


The first type of love that Islam calls for is the Love of Allah, praise be to Him. This love makes you avoid committing sins in order not to make whom you love, Allah, get angry with you. This love also urges you to contemplate all the different aspect of nature that usually lead you to have a deeper faith in the Creator who created all this beauty round us.


The second type of love is the love of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). This love also makes you follow the example of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) in all his dealings and manners. Also this love is an indication of the love of Allah as stated in the Holy Qur'an, "Say: 'If you do love Allah, Follow me: Allah will love you and forgive you your sins: For Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.'" Say: "Obey Allah and His Messenger: But if they turn back, Allah loves not those who reject Faith." (Qur'an, 3:31-32)


The third type of love is human love. It means that the Muslim has to love his other fellow men regardless of their ethnic, linguistic or cultural background. This includes love of neighbors, colleagues, relatives and even strangers. This type of love persuades the Muslim to help anybody whenever he can. There are numerous of Ahadith that exhort Muslims to help anybody who really needs help because such an altruistic act takes the Muslim one step closer to Allah.


The fourth type of love is the love between a man and a woman, but Islam organizes and regulates these lofty feelings within the framework of marriage because Islam views that marital love leads the couple to have a peaceful and happy family life, which is the core of the Muslim society.


In other words, this love is acceptable as long as it is within the framework of marriage and this is encouraged in a number of verses in the Holy Qur'an, "And among His signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put affection and mercy between you: verily in that are indeed signs for those who reflect: (Qur'an, 30:21)


Source: The Beauty Of Islam
Written by :Sarah

Read rest of entry

Hospitality towards GUESTS

Lots of plans and activities being carried out throughout the holidays.Some will take this oppurtinity to travel, go for vacation,visiting relatives and friends but some prefer to stay indoor doing housework,receiving and entertaining guests..Here are some tips to share when receiving our guests.

Our great Prophet [s] teaches us to be generous and how to entertain guests. He wants a Muslim to show gratitude...The Messenger of Allah [s] further guides us by saying:
"Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should be hospitable with his or her guests."

Our great Prophet [s] teaches us to be generous and how to entertain guests. He wants a Muslim to show gratitude and be kind and happy when receiving guests. One should respect and welcome his guests, in particular when they are strangers, or have no family or friends in that country.

It may even happen that a guest comes while relatives or friends are being entertained, or other travellers are staying and there is lack of space; or you are unprepared and have few provisions or are even short of money. In any eventuality, guests who come to your home should be made welcome, shown respect and be provided with whatever food and drink are available. One should sit with them in order to make them feel comfortable and happy, and take care to pay great attention to them.

Surely, our glorious Prophet [s] guides us towards respecting guests and being generous towards them. In this respect, he says: "Indeed whoever believes that Allah is All-Generous, Who provides for His creation and rewards those who are hospitable towards their guests, should look after his guest."

Surely, Allah will increase our provision if we welcome our guests and give them food and drink, and will reward us on the Resurrection Day.

Allah is All-Generous, who loves the generous ones and dislikes those who are mean.
.

Read rest of entry

Tips to teach your young kids How to handle Pornography

Some parents might think the only way to stop the infiltration of pornography into the minds of their children is by simply cutting off the source of the material. They would consider, for instance, not even installing or disconnecting the internet from the home.

But while this may solve the problem temporarily, it does not teach young Muslims how to deal with this material when they see it everywhere else: on television, billboards on the street or magazines, for instance.
Nor does it encourage them to avoid this material when they have the opportunity to look at it outside of parental control.

Below are some ways to help your child avoid pornography whenever and wherever he or she encounters it. Please note though, this is not a comprehensive list of possibilities, nor should all of the strategies presented be used on your child. Choose the right ones that can help him or her depending on age and previous exposure to pornography.

Tip #1:

Establish your right and authority as a parent to know
Establish parental authority gently and wisely. Remind your children through words and actions that while you love them and want to be close to them, this does not mean just being 'friends.' As the parent, you have the final say when it comes to their well being. You have a right to know who their friends are, where they are and what they are doing for the sake of their own safety.

Tip #2:

Know the Islamic perspective yourself
Do your research by reading up about this topic and talking to another trusted parent, as well as your local Imam or Muslim scholar to get a clearer understanding.
Additional research could also be done to find more reasons to not get involved with pornography. For example, find out about the danger it poses to one's health, concentration and the way it portrays women.

Tip #3:

Teach by example
A son who sees his father ogling pornographic magazines and staring at bikini-clad women at the beach in summer is unlikely to take advice against watching porn seriously. As God reminds us in the Quran, we've got to practice what we preach.

Tip #4:

Instill accountability to God
Kids need to be gently reminded that Allah, who is very Merciful and Kind, is always watching them, even when mom and dad are not. That means a person needs to act and speak in the right manner at all times as much as possible because God is always aware of what we are doing, saying and thinking. But this needs to be done in a way that does not scare the child or make him or her feel resentment towards Allah.

Tip #5:

Warn them about God's punishment and the Hellfire
While this should not be the sole focus of any Islamic upbringing, when it comes to the issue of pornography, reminding kids of God's punishment could help them. But what should also be mentioned is that Allah is Forgiving and Merciful and if anyone asks His forgiveness and stops doing the wrong thing they were previously involved in, Allah will forgive them.

Tip #6: Watch TV with them

You can do this by simply taking the remote control, and every time a scene comes up which is inappropriate, quickly changing the channel and making a sound of disgust. This can be used as a form of conditioning, where your child will see pornographic and/or inappropriate material (i.e. nudity, sexual situations, etc.) and know that this is wrong by your reaction. He or she will associate the two and avoid looking at the material even if not under your supervision. Do the same for the Internet, magazines and anywhere else it is found. This does not mean seeking these sites or magazines. Rather, when they are encountered, use that moment to show your reaction.

Tip #7: Make family time

People turn to the media, whether it's television or the Internet because apart from trying to learn or research something or communicating by e-mail, they're bored.
This is why family time at least once a week is important. Whether it's taking everyone out for ice cream on Friday night, going to the Masjid as a family on Sundays for classes or playing a board game together, keeping the kids entertained the right way, together as a family, will reduce boredom and the need to turn to TV and the Internet to have fun.

Tip #8: Get them involved in good activities

Is there a good young Muslim boys or girls group in your city? Get your son or daughter to join. If not, start one up with the cooperation of other parents. Also, get them involved in things like sports and volunteer work.

Tip #9: Check their friends

More often than not, kids get their information about sex from friends who often mislead them instead of guiding them. The same is true when it comes to pornographic material. If you find that some of your children's friends are involved in porn, talk to the parents, and if that does not work, keep your child away from the child.
By the same token, help your kids befriend those who are practicing Muslims of the same age, who can provide them with fun and companionship, without sacrificing their Islamic principles.


Tip #10: When they're old enough, talk about pornography

This should be done in the context of a discussion on modesty, and it should be done discreetly, in a gradual way, according to their age (see tips on how to talk to your kids about sex). Talk openly and clearly, asking their opinion about this issue (this is a great way to indirectly find out what friends and peers at school are saying or doing about it), and give them the Islamic perspective.

Tip #11: Install filters or get an Internet service which is porn-free

There are many safe surfing tools available for Internet and there are TV sets which come equipped for parental blocking of some channels. Invest in these technologies.

Tip #12: Establish the ground rules for the computer

Apart from setting hours for Internet use for every family member, you can also make it clear what kind of material is acceptable to view or not.

Some other helpful rules for safe computer use that all kids should know are courtesy Protect Your Kids http://www.protectyourkids.info/):

• Never give out identifying information such as your address, phone number, school name, town, etc. in chat rooms, forums, forms or questionnaires.
• Never agree to meet anyone in person that you have met online.
• Never reply to any email, chat messages, or forum items that make you feel uncomfortable.
• Never send information or pictures to anyone over the Internet that you do not know.
• Never give your password to anyone except your parents, no matter who they say they are.
• Be aware that people may not be who they say they are. Someone who says she is a 10-year old girl may really be an older man.
• Never click on links in emails from people you don't know.
• Don't order anything or give anyone credit card information without your parent's permission.
• Always tell your parents if someone upsets you or makes you uncomfortable.
• Always follow your parents' rules regarding computer use.


by Sound Vision Staff Writer

Read rest of entry